Is It Soup Yet ?
Posted By Paul Kotik on 24 April 2006
Other suggestions have included digital readouts of depth, pressure, and the diver's physiologicals. Authentic face time would go a long way : there must be some way to ruggedize and adapt one of those little digital video cameras to the water world and transmit a live feed of the only interesting part of the diver that is exposed through the neoprene: the face.
As for the freediving disciplines practiced in competitions as of now: fuggedaboutit. The general audience TV viewer may have the patience and interest to watch one constant ballast dive -- maybe, but no more than one. Dynamic apnea might be a little more attractive, since the competitor is visible at all times and lots of people have a sense of how long a pool length is and what it might be like to swim one in apnea. Static ? Look, I'm a dedicated freediver myself, and it bores me to tears.
What would P.T. Barnum do ?
Barnum would dream up some new events that would showcase the distinctive properties of freediving : it is physically difficult and you can die doing it. These new events would also grab the spectator's attention by ratcheting up the suspense and the thrill of competition.
I just renewed my dramatic licence, so let's explore this idea by taking an example to an absolutely preposterous extreme. Pay attention to the disclaimer, all you breathless critics: THIS IS NOT A SERIOUS SUGGESTION.
Now, imagine a pair of top professional freedivers competing mano a mano for a purse of , say, $50,000.
A set of lead boxes is arrayed on shelves attached to a steel cable running from the surface to a depth of , say, 85 meters. Each box weighs a couple of kilos, and contains a gold bar weighing 3 ounces and worth about $1,000. The shelves are set at intervals of 1 meter, beginning at 30 meters.
The two competitors take turns diving, with the object of bringing up boxes to the surface. You get the gold in the boxes you bring up. Any gold that falls to the bottom during a dive reverts to the other guy. The competition ends when all the gold is in the boat, and the winner is the diver who brought up the most gold. An alternative ending is when one of the divers calls it quits, or blacks out, or sambas.
The winner gets all the gold brought up by him and by his opponent, too.
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